We've Got to Stop this Feathered Menace!
There, waiting, at local parks and recreation areas, lurks the honking menace - GEESE! Dozens of people every year are harassed, even threatened, by these foul fowls. But no more! The time has come for we bold bi-peds to stand together and show our support against this rising tide of feathery rage.
STAND PROUD!
It may already be too late. But we can still thumb our un-beaked noses at those gooses! Take a look at the merchandise available at our store and show your colors!
In the meantime, band together, support small business and buy from our Redbubble shop!
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Watch out for these fluffy feathered fiends!
Waddling around with an air of superiority that would make even the Queen blush... But don't let their innocent honks and soft feathers fool you, these birds are feathered velociraptors in disguise. Their beady little eyes are constantly scanning the horizon, searching for unsuspecting victims to terrorize.
Their wings, while seemingly too small for flight, can propel them at surprising speeds, allowing them to launch sneak attacks from unexpected angles! And let's not forget their beaks, those sharp, powerful instruments of pain capable of delivering bites that would make a crocodile jealous.
These feathered fiends have been known to attack everything and everyone: children on their way to school, joggers trying to get their exercise, even mailmen who dared to step foot on their territory. They've been known to chase cars, block roads, and even take over entire parks.
But fear not, brave humans! There are ways to defend yourself against these feathered foes. First and foremost, always maintain eye contact. Geese are easily intimidated by a stern gaze, so stare them down with all your might. If they get too close, make yourself appear as large and threatening as possible. Spread your arms, scream nonsensical words, and flail your limbs about like a windmill in a hurricane.
If all else fails, deploy the ultimate weapon: bread. Yes, that's right, bread. These feathery fiends are surprisingly susceptible to the allure of carbohydrates. Toss them a crust or two and they'll be distracted long enough for you to make a safe escape.
So remember, the next time you encounter a goose, be on your guard. These feathered fiends may look harmless, but they are anything but. But with a little bit of knowledge and some quick thinking, you can emerge victorious from the battle against the goosepocalypse.
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